Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize