girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
