I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize