Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
