Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We need to get me chipped asap
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
