I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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