we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
