Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
