guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
