Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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