is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
