So drunk, too bad you don't want this
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Randomize
