i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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