At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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