I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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