Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
