Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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