What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
