sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
