Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
