dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
last night I used snow as a chaser
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
