and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
