I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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