it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
