i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize