I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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