you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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