i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
