I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
