"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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