i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
