Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
