I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
