I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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