Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
