i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
