i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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