those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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