Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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