Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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