Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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