I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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