It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
