so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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