Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The best revenge is premature balding
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
