Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
