may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize