he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
