I hate all girls vehemently.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
