TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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