Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize