Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
