her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
