so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize