yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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