her vagine was all disorganized.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
