just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
