I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
