He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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