Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
