you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Randomize