Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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