2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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