I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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