i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
