Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
