I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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