I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
